All About Spike - Plain Version
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Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5
All Over It
Summary: Pre-Lover's Walk, Buffy's gotta stop an apocalypse. Luckily,
Spike's back in town and has just the stuff she needs.
Timeline: Early Season 3, post-Revelations, pre-Lover's
Walk (which doesn't happen, exactly).
Rating: NC-17, soon
Disclaimer: Buffy, Spike and Sunnydale, et al, are property of Mutant
Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. I merely use them as pawns
in my perverse fantasies, and sometimes for chores.
Author's Note: After playing several rounds of the Buffy XBox game (which
takes place in S3 and has oodles of ooh-baby S/B subtext), Lovebytez
came up with this smutty little plot bunny and the title "Intercourse
with a Vampire". I ran with it, and as is often the case, went off on
a crazy tangent. This fic is dedicated to her.
Author's Note the Second: Having trouble believing this? Stop trying.
Distribution: Please ask first -
Feedback: I'm all over it.
Series Started/Completed: February 2003. Wha? How? I don't know.
Chapter Two: The Need For Seed
"That thing is a machine," Xander said as he helped Buffy
up. Grosh had only whacked her out of the way, but the impact had sent her
flying into a painful stack of vegetable crates. "An enormous, unkillable
"And apparently, a machine on a mission." She straightened her
shirt. "No time for fighty."
"Is that what he said? I thought he said, 'Grosh smash!'"
"Did you get a look at that thing he was holding?"
"Yeah, sort of. What was it?"
"I don't know. But we'd better find out."
Set on returning to the high school, they headed down the alley. Someone
turned the corner in from the street, and halted.
"Oh, lovely." Spike seemed to want to run, but he stayed firm.
"It's Spike!" Xander exclaimed, pointing. "Spike is back!"
"What, you didn't tell your boy?"
"My...he's not my--"
"I am not her boy!" he hissyfitted.
Unimpressed, Spike turned his attention back to Buffy.
"Frankly, you didn't come up," she shrugged. "You're not
important enough to talk about. And luckily," she whipped a stake out
of her back pocket, "I have just the cure for that."
"Hey! Hey!" He lifted his arms. "Miles away from your place,
aren't I? Keepin' my promise, I am."
"Right, because you're so reliable." She shrugged again and lowered
her weapon. "Doesn't matter. You've been deinvited."
"Aww, and just when we were gettin' on so well."
"I don't have time for this..." Buffy brushed past him. "C'mon,
"What? You're--you're not gonna kill him?"
Buffy sighed. "It'll just turn into a big brawl, I'll kick his ass,
he'll make some 'Next time, Slayer, I'll really kill you' comment
and run away...I've got better things to do."
Spike chuckled. "Like fight Grosh?"
She turned around. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing." Tilting his head to visualize her naked, he said,
"Just that there's an old legend about him and Slayers. And vampires..."
"You..." Her face flushed, lower lip quivered. "How did you
know about that?"
"Been around, pet. Hope Angel's good and ready for the desouling again."
For good measure, she kicked him in the gut.
"Found it," Buffy turned her book towards Giles. "Sparklier
in real life, though."
Giles lowered his glasses, squinted, put them back on and took the book.
Xander pointed a finger. "I was hopin' he'd say that."
"Crystallus Despero," he breathed, and looked up. "The Crystal
Willow worried, "Is that the last ingredient we were s'posed to find
before he did?"
"Yes. Yes I believe it was."
Buffy felt a panic rise up her spine.
"Ingredient for what?" Cordelia asked, looking at her nails.
"The total annihilation of the earth," Giles answered.
Cordelia stopped looking at her nails.
Buffy closed her Watcher's office door behind her. Eyes fixed on the floor,
she said, "I want that amulet."
"Remember what I said about having no choice? Well guess what? We're
choiceless. If this is all going down in three days I need more juice.
If you've got something else for me, Giles..."
"W-w-we're still working on it, and..." His voice dropped to a
whisper, "Who, other than Angel, could you possibly find to--?"
Rubbing the cross that hung from her neck, she answered quietly, "I
He frowned, curious.
"Just...give me tonight, okay? You work on finding that amulet."
Reminding himself of his calling, his duty, his job, he took a seat at his
desk and unlocked a drawer. "I've already got it."
"Nice to see you too, Slayer," Spike grinned at the girl straddling
and choking him. "Decide I'm the better thing to do after all?"
"Actually?" Buffy eased the pressure of her fingers around his
Features reverting to their human state, he scrutinized her. "What
are you playing at?"
"I'm not playing, Spike." She slid back on his thighs. "You
need to help me."
"You mean you need me to help you."
"No..." She held up a stake to prove him wrong, "You
need to help me."
"Yeah, alright. Got your point." He hit the stake out of her hand
and flung her off.
As she hit the opposite wall of the alley, he laughed, swaying on his feet.
"Think I'm your dog, Slayer? Gonna do what ever you say? You can kiss
"You have to have sex with me."
Mouth frozen open mid-insult, he stared at her for several seconds.
And then the laughter started. "Oh, this is rich! To stop Monolith
Man from ending the world, you'd be willing to sleep with me. Real
selfless of you, pet. I'm impressed."
Watching him warily, she stood up.
"Impressed," he swiveled his jaw, "but not interested. Last
thing I'd ever do is--"
"It will be the last thing you ever do!" she reminded him.
"You know, a few months ago, you told me you didn't want this world
to end. You like it just the way it is. With the sports, and the-- people
with their little legs..."
"Happy Meals, pet."
"Right." She exhaled and got to the point, "We're all
gonna die if we don't stop him--people, demons--he's taking everyone
"Yeah, well, a few months ago, I cared about this world."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "God, is this about Drusilla? What is
it about her anyway?"
"None of your business," he gritted.
"Spike," she turned her head toward the stars with a sigh and
looked back at him. "I have no other options..."
"Oh, boo bloody hoo! I'm all choked up over your sunny little world
ending!" He spun to leave. "Find some other sucker."
Arms dropping to her sides, she said quietly, shakily, "You're the
only sucker I got."
Spike stopped, touched by...well, it must be the desperation in her voice.
Nice. He turned, lifted his chin and mashed his lips upward. "Beg
me for it."
She gaped at him for a moment. "Oh, screw you." She'd find someone
else...anyone, she resolved as she strode out into the street.
And then she heard behind her, "I'll do it."
Buffy halted, took a breath, thought, Why am I relieved about this?
and faced him.
"Yeah, you heard me." He approached her. "You got the trinket?"
An earlier suspicion was rekindled. "You seem to know a whole lot about
He shrugged. "Campfire stories, love. That one's always been good for
a laugh." He noticed she was still frowning. "Well, can you blame
"And that's all you know?"
"That's it." He held up his hands. "I swear it! Cross my
Keeping a careful eye on him, she dug a hand into her pocket, lifted the
amber amulet far enough for him to see and quickly tucked it away. "The
night after tomorrow. We meet and get this done."
He opened his mouth slightly, slid his tongue to the roof of his mouth.
"So business-like. Why not now?"
She kept her face expressionless. "Because it's not time."
Continued in Chapter Three: Performance Anxiety
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