All About Spike - Consanguinity by Circe

Consanguinity
By Circe

Thanks to my beta, cerdd_gwen

Rating: R

Summary: In times of crisis, blood calls to blood. Set BtVS post-s6, AtS post-s3.

Author’s Note: One of two flashfics for the Livejournal Flashfic-A-Thon. Each perspective picks up from the last few words of the other.

cold so very cold here in the silence oh god what he wouldn’t give for silence for months now but time has no meaning in his pitiful little existence is defined by thoughts but his have ceased to be more than pain and suffering and all that’s due to a son who betrays her again and again oh god it wasn’t always like this there was trust do you trust me and the beginnings of affection do you even like me the son is headstrong yes but the fists and fangs feel so right now he’d do anything to see her face the truth I know you could never trust is precious and he has none but you my lovely girl who would at one time have come for him her he remembers skin so soft yielding falling into eyes where she makes him more than a monster that’s what he is and he’s back and so full of fury that she won’t let him love her the way she deserves to be killed for turning him into what he hates a quivering flatulent mess of a man she makes him feel like a man and he hates loves her for it this humanity is her fault I did this for you can never understand now and it hurts oh god it hurts as the salt-water nightmares fill his mouth his head his body and vampires don’t need to breathe but he can’t stop great heaving gasps of air that fill his lungs and make his broken ribs sear with the effort to remember the mission remember he’s tried so hard but it was never enough and now he laughs as it burns because it’s never enough the guilt never stops the pain never stops he calls it brooding but really it’s living existing because to do anything more risks him the other one and that would be bad poet bad monster bad man he’ll never be though he wants to love doesn’t deserve love and the new girl he now wants he can’t tell me how you feel you’ll feel it when I’m inside he glows effulgent but the demon waits aches to be let free again but he learns from his mistakes tell him never again will he taste what he craves the touch of the dark angel she said as they were walking in London so long ago the young man is promised to us so they took him to worlds he had only dreamed of such glorious lust she was right about it all that’s best of dark and light meet in his aspect and his eyes so blue but black with desire and blood and sex and pain to see him again after all that time fades into nothing compares to him and could never be friends we’ll fight and we’ll shag and we’ll hate each other till it makes us quiver under my stroking hand and I touch your hair sweet William his arms the line of his throat so sleek as a mink his hair trailing down to his cock so hard so good oh god will I drink him again I can taste his salt in my mouth because he’s full fathom five in the sea-green gloaming where nothing is real or right but the memories the hunger and want and hurt the girl and now on the veldt a vampire cries out for his sire under the baleful moon