spikeyum posted on
Jan 5, 2007 |
|I'm sorry to be so negative but it is my impression of the story. Overall I think you have a good plot here with the purpose of the story however the style in which you are writing is cluttered. I say this because the excessive use of metaphores and overly done imagery causes you to lose what is going on in the story line. This is not as evident when you are writing the buffy, maggies scenes but in the Spike world it is extremly hard to even understand what you are talking about. There will be a moment of straight storyline when you can get into the story and then you go off into some metaphoric, overly discriptive speiel. I find myself saying often what the heck is this person talking about. |
Although I would like to know what happens because the idea of the story is very good, very good but I find myself skimming to the areas that are clear, plain and concise and full of the excessive use of imagery and metaphores. These things have their place in a story and can improve it, this is not the case with your story. It has made me discontinue reading it which is a shame. I just feel if I have to skip over so much of it to get the the meat of the story it isn't worth reading. Shame too because I love stories with a sequel.
sister cuervo posted on
Mar 29, 2004 |
|Brilliant post-apocalyptic world. Rather puts me in mind of Poul Anderson's books, grim harsh world leavened with a hope for the future. Loved your use of Beowulf and Macha's poem was lovely.
Ruth posted on
Mar 11, 2004 |
|just fabulous. really - you did a wonderful job and I look forward to reading the sequel. Great world building and characterization.|
I hope you are working on publishing your own material.
Karen posted on
Jan 23, 2004 | n/a|
|That was a beautifully tragic story. I love the way you described everything; it was gorgeous. I also like what you did with Dawn, it was just wonderful. You should get published!
rob1 posted on
Oct 26, 2003 |
|This was a fascinating read with a really unique style. It was lyrical and somehow... detached. I enjoyed the premise and the characterizations and the slow, lazy way the entire story unfolded. Different and very beautiful story. Thanks.
Tori Morris posted on
Jul 2, 2003 |
|Wow. Just--wow. The imagery that you use in this piece is really quite remarkable, and I love it. Somehow, the sad, yet promising world that was kept alive by Dawn has a lot of promise to it that you've really managed to exploit, so that I feel like the ideas were not just created and left abandoned (like, sadly, the Key was on the show.) Since I like Dawn, I like that she's some form of the Goddess now. I also like that Spike is now the sacred warrior archetype, and that Buffy has found her way to him. I like that Maggie was a very sympathetic vampire, despite herself, and that I was truely saddened by her death--very few OCs ever do that for me. I just love this fic a lot. I'd encourage another story in this universe, but I hate to do that with work that seems so very complete. Bravo.
Cyn posted on
Jul 1, 2003 |
|What an unusal and memorable story. The way you used archtypes really snuck up on me -- generally they turn me off, because authors never seem able to capture the power of the symbols -- but you suceeded. I was especially struck by interlude after the dragon's death, as Spike lies calm and broken in the falling snow. Beautiful, and just the right pace to follow the action and violent heroics. Of course, one rather pines for *another* epilogue (wherein the sundered pair meet on camera ;) but this story succeeds wonderfully on its own merits. Great work.