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35  rayrayluver posted on Oct 17, 2009
Well, I read Modus and thought, "Jeez, this is a rather depressing ending. I guess they both might not be entirely broken, but they've both died a bit" So then I saw that there's an alternative ending where they stay together and thought "Yay! Something slightly happier"... Yeah.

This is one of the darkest things I've read in a long, long time. It was so painful.
Xander was so hopelessly destroyed and I'm like Spike, I can't quite understand how or why or when it happened but at the same time it seems like there's no way anything else *could* have happened after Spike got dechipped. The story just makes you weep for everyone involved. God, I kept hoping that something would happen to at least somewhat fix everyone but it didn't.

Great story, but I really need something lighter now. Stories like these poison me a bit. Beautifully, terribly done.
34  Betty_m posted on Jun 23, 2005
A monster in love is a terrible thing. My God, what an amazing story you've written whether in the Buffyverse or outside.

The story has stayed with me (both versions) since I read it a week ago. I just wanted to say well done.
33  natalie posted on Mar 18, 2005
You, you beautiful, wonderful thing, have killed me, have ripped little pieces off of my soul and then tossed them about as confetti. This ending is perfect. I am so glad that we don't know what happened.
32  Cobwebs posted on Jan 29, 2005
Absolutely beautiful. Gave me tingles. It's chillingly perfect.
31  IndigoArc posted on Dec 30, 2004
Sorry for the double post; just trying to delete my web site addy.
30  IndigoArc posted on Dec 30, 2004
Striking work. I spent four completely unwasted, entranced hours last night reading Modus Vivendi -- couldn't fall asleep afterwards either, I just couldn't breathe. But this, this was so messed up, in the best possible way -- and is going to stick with me for a long time -- kind of like reading j.g. ballard's "Crash", or Robin Wayne Bailey's "Shadow Dance". Beautiful, dark, horrifying, sad. Whatever you do, *don't* explain the ending; it's perfect to remain ambiguous, unredeemabley tragic, quivering at the edge. Don't explain it, let it lie -- and I know that you will, you are a fine writer.
29  IndigoArc posted on Dec 30, 2004 | www.infinitespheres.com/indigoarc.htm
Striking work. I spent four completely unwasted, entranced hours last night reading Modus Vivendi -- couldn't fall asleep afterwards either, I just couldn't breathe. But this, this was so messed up, in the best possible way -- and is going to stick with me for a long time -- kind of like reading j.g. ballard's "Crash", or Robin Wayne Bailey's "Shadow Dance". Beautiful, dark, horrifying, sad. Whatever you do, *don't* explain the ending; it's perfect to remain ambiguous, unredeemabley tragic, quivering at the edge. Don't explain it, let it lie -- and I know that you will, you are a fine writer.
28  suicide angel posted on Dec 24, 2004
Need more. I like this anti-romantic atmosphere. It's so "real live"-thing like. And in a masochistic kind of way, I even love the ending. Everything's so hard, sharp and painful(I hope this somehow makes a sense). It's a nice contrast to the whole "happy, funny, everything's so great"- Christmas spirit and messed so nice with my coffeine-pushed up mood.
27  Mik posted on Nov 9, 2004
Wow... just WOW. I couldn't stop reading. Both endings are so real. It is so sad but better because it's real. Is this the end of this story or is there going to be more. You're an awesome writer and I can't wait to read more of your stuff. Good job.
Mik
26  Corley posted on Nov 8, 2004
Ooh.. curse you. You made me miss two classes reading this and the other. No, THREE classes. I couldn't force myself to get up from the screen, it was just so dark and wonderful... gave me chills. Beautiful and touching and intense... very very intense. I have NEVER liked Spike/Xander stories, but this is just a total mindfuck of a story.
25  Farah posted on Oct 4, 2004
What happened to Xander?! I'm so excited! The Xand-man is my favorite character mostly coz he's the most realistic one among all the BtVS and AtS characters and well ... he's cute and funny and goofy and that's what I like to watch.

This fic is so great! Your Xander is as real as the one on the show and your Spike is wow. I agree with the ppl who said that Spike's character is always wrote as a human. I guess coz he acts too nice for a vampire on the actual show ppl tends to write him this way.

More pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! I can't wait to read what happens next!!!
24  Jen posted on Oct 4, 2004 | none
Wow! Personally, your Spike is more believable as a vampire than the one we see on TV. It bugs the hell out of me the way they make Spike care about Dawn and Joyce and when he's being nice to Willow and Tara. He's a *vampire* damn it! And he didn't have a soul in both season 5 and 6. This story is awesome, maybe the best X/S story I ever read so far.
23  tortoise posted on Sep 30, 2004
I wanted to send email but apparently it's been hacked. So this is a fan letter.

I've never read fanfic before - I was always deeply suspicious of it. Modus Vivendi was the first thing I ever read, and picked entirely at random. And of course I had to read this next. Despite not being a particular fan of the genre, having no special interest in this pairing above any other and not looking for slash, I have to tell you that this is one of the best things I've ever read. I've since gone searching for other fanfic and failed to find anything that compares to this. I liked the first ending, but this is so gloriously dark. It's satisfying to read someone who allows a doomed relationship to lead to doom instead of redemption, who understands that want and need and distorted perception can be bonds as effective as a pair of manacles.

This is shiveringly erotic, deliciously dark and utterly addictive. I hope you'll put a site back up when you can, because I want to read your non-fanfic work as well.
22  jillian posted on Aug 5, 2004 | http://www.raventutorials.com
This story scared the shit out of me because it was so good. It wasn't just the spot on vivid characterizations, the killing uncertainties, the visceral but seemingly effortless descriptions, or the relentless application of pure reality in the face of a fandom filled with idealistic romance (not that that's too terrible a thing).. it was the story itself, blindingly compelling. A blindingly compelling story about Xander and Spike having a relationship. That's why I'm scared. I don't read slash, damnit. But this is more than slash.
21  Rose posted on Apr 26, 2004
Your Spike is quite possibly the best I've ever read. He is so torn, confused, clueless. Xander and he are the perfect foils --- distorted mirrors of one another. Thx.
20  Zandra posted on Apr 6, 2004
I just finished this story and now I'm haunted by the starving, ragged Xander and the oblivious, homocidal Spike. They won't go away. I'm afraid everytime I watch a Buffy rerun, I'll see what could have happened to Xander.

Yeah, it's a very good story.
19  Joanne posted on Apr 2, 2004
A great story.
18  flippykitten posted on Mar 28, 2004
When I saw that you were rewriting the ending of VM, my first thought was 'no'. You had given that story the perfect ending. There wasn't any way for those two, in that story, to have the storytale romance. I almost didn't read this ending, thinking it would be a cop-out, a happy-ever-after. Yet you took it even deeper, darker, and made it even more believable. What can I say except, you rock.
17  MikkTorrent posted on Mar 15, 2004
oh geeze. that was great! but what happened?! we must know!
16  Tonya posted on Feb 2, 2004
Great fic i loved the whole xander and spike relationship and really got sucked into this story. What exactly happened to xander did he die or did he get turned?
I really think you portrayed spike the way everyone is not, most
writers write a fic with him in it, that shows him being well like a human and thats not true and i like the reality that this brings even though the ending is majorly depressing.
15  Drewbear posted on Jan 31, 2004
This is so horrifically beautiful. So sparse, so cold, so perfect. As others have said, I normally don't like endings like this one has, but it's absolutely right for this piece.
14  Orofen posted on Jan 7, 2004
I love it even if it is so sad and depressing!But please write more!What happened to Xander??Don't kill him please?Pretty please?I usually don't like Spike when it's written like this, so brutal ( well duh!he's a VAMPIRE!) Okay, I don't know if 'brutal' would be the right word but still...Write more okay?Happy ending maybe??*wink wink* thank you so much,but.......Don't kill him! xD
13  Luella posted on Dec 22, 2003
This story was fucking beautiful. You've hit on a part of Spike most people ignore or make so foolishly sentimental. Brillant! Thank you.- Luella
12  Katarin MoonStar posted on Dec 3, 2003
I hate your writing, I hate this fic. That being said, I love your writing and I love this fic. I really should have been studying for finals, but instead I got sucked into your dark and dramatic world. Now, I really don't know if I want to study, or do much of anything. This was an excellent piece of work, your obviously a very talented writer and these two pieces are proof of that. You've captured the reality of Spike's situation so perfectly, and I don't feel that it's impossible to imagine Xander reacting this way. Beautiful fic, please continue to write. -Katarin
11  maja posted on Nov 30, 2003
Not a xander/spike fan by any means, but this......goes beyond that...the depth of character and the twists in the tragedy. i read both stories in one day...and I realy had to do other things....this is now on my top 10, right next to the Ballad of Randy and Joan.
10  carrie posted on Sep 29, 2003
geez, everytime i read this i feel like im having a heart attack. You write spike so well. no one ever thinks that spike is a vampire, they write him as a human. he cant understand humanity tho, and so any relationship with it will ultimately expire. painful, but true. u really wrote a realiystic person in xander--more real than in the series, if that makes sense. loved both stories, ur an amazing writer.
always reading
carrie
9  Linda posted on May 23, 2003
You are an amazing writer. Please write more of anything. I found Modus when it was a WIP and the first thing I did every day was check for the next chapter. I was sorry when it ended. I equally loved this one.
8  DittoSpikette posted on May 20, 2003
Thank you sooo much for writing a sequel, not because there was anything wrong with Modus, but simply because it's one of my favourite (if not the favourite) fics and I want to read more. I'll be printing off and reading asap. :)

Regards, Ditto xxoo
7  sweetserene posted on May 11, 2003
This is a fantastic story. It's beautiful and depressing at the same time, I love the emotion it brings out in me. There's almost a feeling of hopelessness as you watch the relationship between Xander and Spike that it's heartbreaking. I'm not sure if I like this or Modus more, because both of them are brilliant, despite both of them having relatively depressing endings.

Please continue I hope that you never stop writing. Fantastic.
6  sherebis posted on May 10, 2003
Okay, I'm going to go slit my wrists now. It's so depressing... it sucks you in and you are strapped into the ride, while at the same time knowing this isn't going to end well... just knowing it.

It was really good but I hated it too... I hated that there is just pure desolation.

It's a wonderful story in that it just provokes you and provokes you and provokes you.




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